Joakim Noah wore his 31

The NBA season is made up of games, people watching them and talking about them, but also people watching them and rating them. Likely revenge after spending a youth collecting zeros, and a perfect opportunity in any case to drop the punchline by the kilo. Once again this season, Team Notes will delight you with its relentless imagination, while still trying to talk a little about basketball. chick?

It’s been 3 years since we had an NBA Paris Game, since the box of the highly anticipated (it’s wrong) Malik Monk. And this is always the opportunity to open the multiverse by discovering that Ronny Turiaf is an NBA legend, but to bring together Victor Wembanyama, Ben Wallace, Rip Hamilton, Magic Johnson, Aya Nakamura, Tyga, Thomas Ngijol, Ciryl Gane , Esteban Ocon, Pharrell Williams, Aurélien Tchouameni, Khaby Lame, or even Mister V at the AccorHotels Arena. And you know? This is perhaps the most incredible thing about this match, which did not live up to all of its promises. We had some great dunks with three SDC winners Zach LaVine, Derrick Jones Jr. and Hamidou Diallo, we had some great shots with DeMar DeRozan and Bojan Bogdanovic, but in the end, all we’ll remember was Joakim Noah being undermined as a guy from line 13. Fortunately Cristina Cordula wasn’t there, we are there, and that is enough to send a worthy volley of notes for this second edition, waiting for 2024.

# Detroit Pistons

Isaiah Stewart (3.5): a basket was scored at the very beginning of the match then… nothing more. The Stew jogged further than the RER B to catch up with all his misses, but couldn’t get in. Another saw the doors close in front of him.

Bojan Bogdanovic (6.5): the only fun tonight for the Motor City. He was about to sing “Everybody from 313 raise your mothers and follow me” to imitate Bunny Rabbit in 8 Mile, except no one follows him. 25 points tonight and 10,000 career for Bogi.

Sadiq Bey (4): he was supposed to be one of the offensive spearheads of the Pistons, but Saddiq failed to live up to his own shooting percentage. A triumph that line 13 is fragrant at rush hour and smooth in its dyeing in the colors of the Seine.

Jaden Ivey (5.5): good but not perfect, Jaden Ivey delivered a decent fight in our beloved capital. A huge traffic jam and as fast as a man trying to catch his RER at Ivey-sur-Seine.

Killian Hayes (3): the native of Lakeland in Florida was unsuccessful and cracked the national air, dropping an abysmal 2/13 on shots including 0/6 from Montmartre. 8 assists and a visit to the barber for a tidy hairline saved the day a bit, but Kik clearly veered off the rue Oberkampf before the match.

Alec Burks (2.5): he delivered the fight of a man who passed without a ticket on the gantries in the metro. To suit the French people, he also went on a shooting strike. We can leave the Champs-Elysées to him, he won’t find the target tonight. If people want to see him send cinder blocks all night, all they have to do is go to the demonstration.

Jalen Duren (5.5): Arriving later than his friends on French soil due to the loss of the passport, Jalen Duren is quite good in his registry. The real Eiffel Tower of the Pistons despite his 19 years, he did what Isaiah Stewart couldn’t do.

Hamidou Diallo (4): the outfielder from Queens should not have a good sense of direction in France. Told to go for a match at the AccorHotels Arena, he flew away as if he were in Terminal 1 at Roissy Charles de Gaulle airport. Still a visual delight.

Isaiah Livers (5): no liver attack for Isaiah Lives, who did his best from the bench. Two award-winning shots off the bench, and two tonight to celebrate.

Marvin Bagley (6m²): $12 million for not playing this game due to injury. A Parisian apartment, a bit too expensive for what it is.

# Chicago Bulls

Nikola Vucevic (7): busy at the start of the match, the Montenegrin gradually left the spotlight on DMDR and ZLV for others. Booba is still a solid number 1 fan for the Bulls. Only number 9 in his team.

Patrick Williams (6): if Patoche were a Parisian district, it would be La Défense, with 2 interceptions and 2 counterattacks credited to Bulls’ number 44. On the other hand, we always have this disturbing impression that the pigeon shot it right in the middle of the skull.

DeMar DeRozan (7.5): deadly from the start of the match at half distance, DMDR did DMDR, a hot knife in a lump of butter coming out of the fridge. Perfect to go with baguettes and croissants, because our beloved tricolor flag needs to have an equal.

Zach LaVine (8): one of the other birds in this fight lived up to its reputation. A few good dunks, some well-made shots, and you have a Zach LaVine match. As predictable as a Jamel Debbouze show, but still better.

Ayo Dosunmu (6): very clean in his game, he raised the crowd thanks to good actions and good energy which was very welcome. Come on Nakamura.

Coby White (6): sharp at the start of the fourth quarter, he allowed the Bulls to regain the decisive gap at the dawn of the most important 12 minutes of the match. A Tinder date went well for him.

Derrick Jones Jr. (6.5): he stole Aaron Gordon’s 2020 Dunk Contest and stole the show from Ayo Dosunmu on his birthday by proposing to his girlfriend, but he also stole the show from fellow marsupials Zach LaVine and Hamidou Diallo, a real pickpocket man.

Alex Caruso (5): four interceptions for the holy baldy tonight, who also played pickpockets. Watch out for your pockets and your bags if you ride the metro tonight… Oh, who cares, because there is no metro.

Goran Dragic (5): it is often called the dragon or the dragster, but tonight it is more than a little lizard or an old Clio 2 with an oil light.

Joakim Noah (Cristina Cordula): dear, not okay! Jooks’ outfit probably caused strokes in the most famous dresser, and seizures in epileptics. No Joakim, just nothing.


Victor Wembanyama (10): the basketball world has won his cause, he received more applause than any other NBA player when he was… not in the NBA. The Pistons tried to get him on board with them, but he chose to take selfies with the Magic instead.

Final score of this NBA Paris Game 2023: 126 to 108 for the Bulls who won this kind of All-Star Game for dummies. Not the best ad for basketball, but a good dose of love for people who were able to achieve their dreams. And that’s all we’ll remember. To see this match live offered by your favorite player’s favorite channel? It’s here

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